7 Ways to help Women live a more Confident Life.

Updated: 11 hours ago

In a society so obviously shaped around youthful potential, it comes as no surprise that having reached a certain age, you face a tough realisation:


The ageing process has changed how you feel about yourself.


You may even start believing that your best years are behind you, and looming ahead is social redundance, feeling unsexy, with little to no purpose or passion in life. Your reflection isn’t YOU anymore, and it does not help when society reinforces it:


“You’re a nobody and now you don’t matter.”


These changes of body, appearance, energy, direction, and social status are like a Perfect Storm. Add to this just one extra pressure – loss of a job, breakdown of marriage, death of a family member, mortgage stress, car accident or other health impact – and suddenly, there can be crushing overwhelm and terrifying loss of self.


Older lady contemplating life on a park bench

And what if life had already dealt you a rough hand as a young person?


You may have endured childhood or early trauma that deeply scarred you, impacted your self-worth, shattered your emerging confidence, and left you with trust and relationship issues. Perhaps you lived with it as an enduring shadow. Maybe you actively pursued professional support to help you on your healing journey. With statistics indicating that 1 in 3 young girls are subjected to abuse – sexual, physical, environmental* - well, that’s a lot of women carrying a huge psychological burden.


Whatever path you journeyed; the past has shaped you. And now, the prime days of your life start fading, the signs of ageing emerge, and your identity warps like walking through the Hall of Mirrors.


The domino effect flattens you as a series of life events impacts you.


Morbid though this may seem, it speaks to the truth about how you and I, as women, lose our confidence; not just from one sudden circumstance, but an accumulation. It may begin with an isolated incident. On its own, it is easy to ignore. When you are dealing with everyday life, you simply must prioritise other things.


But, when these singular life events stockpile, you can no longer ignore them. They become the sole focus of your thinking. And the thoughts are not encouraging:

  • You don’t recognise YOU anymore.

  • You don’t know the stranger staring at you in the mirror.

  • Where did she come from and how long has she been there?

  • Just when did she show up?


Thought it may not seem like it, there is hope and untapped potential within you.


You may not believe it. But that’s the trap; you’ve lost your faith in yourself and in life.

Maybe you are the woman who never really felt confident about who you are. Perhaps you didn’t discover your true sense of worth or pursue your passions, at all or until later in life. And now you find yourself facing a discomforting reality – that you have no real idea who you are anymore, with no sense of confidence in the essence that is YOU and confronted by the loss of youthful vigour.


Recognising that you are on the precipice of change is a powerful step forward.


The truth is that everything you feel right now is absolutely normal and completely understandable. There are new awakenings ahead of you. You are in a remarkable period of transition where true empowerment lay in wait.


So, what will it take for you to evolve through trauma-like loss and grief?


It requires for you to release all that is holding you back, reveal your authenticity, and re-emerge as a self-assured, reaffirmed, intentional woman.


How do you achieve it?


Perhaps a different question to ask is, when did you last do something strictly for yourself, that was for your self-worth, and intended to be indulgent, helpful, soothing, self-caring, for your personal growth and development and your sense of pride?


This is more than just visiting the hair and nail salon or purchasing the latest designer bag. It is beyond signing up for a weight loss club membership, completing further education, or successfully accomplishing a promotion in your career. All of these are wonderful, if they help you feel better in and about yourself, and if they serve you in truly positive ways.


To boost your self-worth, you need to invest in yourself.


Place yourself front and centre in your life, without guilt, without shame, minus any fear of being selfish. To truly invest in yourself means to gift your soul, heart, and mind with the tools, skills, and competencies to build a whole new outlook about who you are and how you present yourself; authentically, in all your imperfect vulnerabilities and in doing so, without concern for other people’s views or opinions.


How do you invest in yourself to achieve a renewed perspective of who you are?


As a woman, you might not notice how malleable (or mouldable) you are to the demands of others. You might not see how others expect more of you, and how you give in and continue to be available to others, often at your own expense.


From now, going forward, decide for yourself how you want to show up. Choose in whom you will invest your time, and what your new boundaries will be. You have the power to determine how you ask for support. More importantly, you start showing yourself genuine love, compassion, empathy, sensitivity, and understanding.

It’s time to be kind to yourself, to embrace your inner child, to shower yourself with loving support and engage with those who care about you, who uplift you, and encourage your desires and passions.

two beautiful women with towels on their heads, indulging in self-care

Here are 7 actions you can implement now to help you discover or rediscover your confidence, reaffirm your self-worth, and fan the flames of meaningful living:


One

Realise that you matter and that you deserve more than how your life is right now. It is too easy to give in to the voice of self-doubt. Lovingly say to yourself every day that you are important, you are worthy, and open to expressing the greatness that life experience has bestowed upon you.


Two

Accept that you are where you are at right now based on trying to do it all yourself or with minimal resources. It’s time to seek the support of someone who knows what it feels like to be where you are and who can help you with how you want to show up. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others who care.


Three

Take time to reflect on your younger days and ask your child-self what you aspired to be when you grew up. Look at how that panned out today. Are you living that life? Does that life still mean what you want it to mean? Or did you lose direction and now feel like you have just survived as life happened to you? If life has not emerged in the way you hoped, start planning now to evolve into the woman you need to be, to have the life you most desire. It is within your grasp.


Four

Give yourself permission – to love, to feel good, to be you in all your imperfections, to accept the joys that do come with being older. Decide that you will change those things that can be changed with some focused effort and attention and permit yourself to radiate in your mature glory.


Five

Seek out a Support network that really speaks to you, to your heart. Ideally, find a Life Coach who gets you, and who has been through what you are going through, and can guide you on your journey of discovery or rediscovery. Though you may feel alone, you don’t have to go it alone.


Six

Invest financially in you. Not just in a Coach, but also in a full pamper service. Decide that you are worth it, and take time to invest in your presentation, your wardrobe, your skin, your body, your health, your way of life. Start with small steps and ensure that you eliminate all feelings of guilt for being ‘self-indulgent’ because you deserve to feel absolutely amazing about yourself. This investment does not have to break the budget. Spend wisely and do it with full belief in your worth.


Seven

Celebrate you. Pursue those things that bring you joy. Like to read? So, read. Want to learn to do pottery? Attend a class. Love to paint? Find a painting group to attend. Desire to exercise? In the words of Nike, ‘just do it’. You are so worthy, and it matters more than you know.

older woman enjoying pottery class

Invest in you. Let go of fear and choose to embrace this new transitional phase of becoming the mature, glorious, life-affirming woman that you deserve to be.


If you’re feeling that nudge inside that says, it’s time for you to invest in who you are and who you want to become, send me an email terri@terrimitchell.com.au and use the Subject Header, “I’m ready to invest in me, let’s schedule a connection call…” and I will arrange a 60-min totally complimentary phone or Zoom call with you to focus on one area you would like advice on.


And if after this, you feel that we gel, we can discuss what it looks like to work with me to set you on your Confidence Discovery or Rediscovery journey.


*Prevalence of child sexual abuse - Bravehearts

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